It’s a portal, that’s what I keep coming back to. There is this emphasis on understanding the divine polarities at Beltane, and understanding the “other” as lover, which can be super fun when it happens to line up with the seasonal celebration and super disappointing when we are just not there in relationship when the birds and the bees are all doing their thing. And, when we are properly sexed and not in any kind of lack around that, we may notice that our sons, brothers, boy-pets, fathers and grandfather-plantcestors are also around, all expressing age and species and roll appropriate versions of this “Beltane” energy. This year as soon as the community ritual ended, I went into a low grade agitation, a cover for grief trying to make its way to the surface amidst making a turkey sandwich for my son. I simultaneously appreciated the perfection of this moment exactly as it was and also missed the days where this day was for Durga, for chanting till we can’t see straight, falling down drunk on Her Shakti, Her manna, for women to study what the so called feminine energies in nature do during this portal. I missed everyone’s ratty old sneakers piled up outside the oak temple, the grandmothers lodge, the yurt, work-trade sisters running up to the old yellow refrigerator in the garage to get the herbal popsicles, that time the movement facilitator was yelling Go! Go! Go! Get your faerie freak on!!! at the top of her lungs in an army jacket in the darkened oak grove while the medicine song facilitator sang sweet melodic childrens song about dancing around the faerie ring. We wound a serpent path from temple to garden to scatter seeds under the moonlight in our ceremonial whites. We saw a snake and the snake saw us.
This year instead my son was with me, sweetly super engaged until mid day, when he told me he was bored of healthy cupcakes, and seemed to become possessed by regular pre-teen vibes, making shrill voices with intent to aggravate, and telling poop and fart jokes all night. He caught another aspect of the Beltane spirit, I think, the mischeivous and the meddling, the rebellious and the trickster/ instigator aspects of Shiva. We watched a childrens movie called "The Mitchel's vs. the Machine and I was crying and muttering “What the f*ck??” As the characters again and again said lines from my own childhood and reenacted my relationship with my dad, except my dad was that guy and also an alcoholic and addict, and I succeeded in leaving for college in NYC and never going home again, so basically just minus the redmption.
In short, again, I am a real person, and the magic and the mundane happen simultaneously throughout these holy-days. Like our guest Facilitator Gustavo mentioned during the live session on Saturday, when we bring our mindfulness and presence to what we are choosing to do with our time, whatever we do becomes art. And even when we don’t succeed in that, the energies just are expressed in a different way, and in this tradition we say, it's all a part of Her Play.
W would love to hear how the seasons are playing out in your realm in the comments below. You can click here to discover how to engage in our online seasonal offerings if you are interested in having more company on this path…Beltane Blessings!